We’ve come to the conclusion that you simply cannot avoid controversy in the Church. It seems like it’s been that way since the very beginning, and if you try to steer clear of it, you almost always end up making it worse! So it behooves us to consider how to deal with conflict, rather than attempting to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that if we sit really still, maybe Jesus will come back and resolve things for us.
The Council at Jerusalem, recorded in Acts 15, is a really good example for us to follow. This was a sharp dispute with a lot of passion and debate. Some of these people were really angry! But they never allowed it to get ugly. We never read about any gossip or slander. No one was vindictive or sarcastic. No one attacked anyone’s motives. They showed tremendous honour, acceptance, respect and civility.
In spite of conflict, they modelled a Christlike spirit and attitude toward one another.
However, they understood that this was something more than just human conflict resolution. Their goal wasn’t to appease all the people there. It wasn’t a democracy. They were trying to discern the will of God.
Certainly, God speaks through the collective wisdom of His people, so we must listen to one another. But we shouldn’t allow a majority vote to settle issues for us. There are some who are better at discerning the leading of God than others. It appears in Acts 15 that everyone was allowed to speak, but not everyone was allowed to decide.
Another factor that surfaces in the speeches recorded for us in Acts 15 is this. They knew the peace was being disturbed and eventually it became clear who was causing the disturbance.
First Peter says, “Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith” (Ac 15.7-9).
Then Barnabas and Paul tell “about the miraculous signs and wonders God had done among the Gentiles through them” (.12).
Finally James speaks: “Brothers, listen to me. Simon has described to us how God at first showed his concern by taking from the Gentiles a people for himself” (.14).
Who is disturbing the peace? Who is the Agitator?
God.
And as they looked at what God was doing, instead of what Peter or Paul or the Gentiles or the Judaisers were doing, they saw clearly their course of action. God was calling them to join Him in what He was doing. He wanted to know if they valued Him and His work more than they valued their traditions.
They met. They talked. They listened. They argued respectfully. They deferred to those who were wise. Most importantly, they asked themselves what God was up to in their midst and how they could join Him in that work. And then they decided. They declared their willingness to adapt their methods in order to meet their mission, to sacrifice their traditions if need be for the sake of partnering with God in expanding His kingdom to the ends of the earth.
That’s how you handle conflict in the Church.
Prayer
Father, You have taught us that relational harmony is so important that it must be achieved before effective worship can take place. As far as it depends on me, may I seek to be at peace with others and to pursue prompt reconciliation by lovingly speaking the truth. May I develop a greater capacity to forgive so that I will not allow wrongs to be barriers to my relationships. And may I not seek to defeat or humiliate my opponents, but to win their friendship and understanding. Let me look for and build on areas of common ground, and seek to clarify meaning and build understanding, so that I will pursue the things that make for peace and the building up of others. May I be a peacemaker and an others-centred servant who is more concerned about the needs of people than about winning arguments.
In Jesus’s name Amen
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